If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
