Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
