she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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