Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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