the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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