What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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