I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize