I forgot how hot balto sounded
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
