one might say we're banned from that church
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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