can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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