I love black thongs
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He shit in the fireplace
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
