there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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