I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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