If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
