I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
