sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I have fence marks all over my body
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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