you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
