How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
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