from now on my penis is your penis
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
