and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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