we have officially lost it.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize