just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
