Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
