It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
