Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
