I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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