he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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