ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
