Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
