It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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