Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
