I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
either way he was missing a nipple.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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