So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
