I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
