He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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