I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Randomize
