It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
