i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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