My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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