I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
