Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
