So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize