Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
