there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
