grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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