There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
