I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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