Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize