They should really pass out barf bags in church
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
