i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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