I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
