the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
