No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize