it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I have grass duct taped all over my body
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize