He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
It's like God shit irony all over that family
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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