you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
