Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
