we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He better not be in your backpack
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
