I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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