There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize