singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
